Start here:
3 short videos to understand disengagement — and what to change first
5–8 minutes each • Watch in order • One clear step per video
‘Wow! Such life-changing revelations in such a short space of time. I would never go back. Everyone needs to know this stuff.’ - Karen
What you will get in 20 minutes
- A new way to understand refusal and shutdown — without blame or battles
- A simple way to spot what kind of disengagement is happening in your child right now
- A first stabilising shift you can use immediately — so learning can re-engage in the right setting
‘Lights On has really been an aha moment for me in seeing how my lights have been gradually dimming since entering motherhood and why this has happened, and given me hope of flicking the switch back on!’ — Jenny
Your 3-step mini-course
Video 1
Disengagement isn’t defiance
— it’s protection
If you’re stuck in refusal, shutdown, or “I don’t care”, this gives you a clear map for what’s happening.
Video 2
Three patterns that sit underneath ‘refusal’
Overwhelm. Fear of failure. Capacity collapse. This video helps you identify which pattern is most active — so you can respond in a way that fits your child, rather than trying harder with strategies that don’t land.
Video3
The first shift that changes
what happens next
When protection is active, advice and consequences don’t stick. This video shows you the first stabilising shift that reduces escalation and creates the conditions for learning to re-engage.
Some families are navigating school anxiety or refusal. Some are home educating. Some are mid-transition. We don’t start with a “one right answer”.
We start by stabilising what’s happening in your child (and in you) so you can choose the next step from clarity — not panic.
This mini-course is for you if…
- Mornings (or learning time) ends in tears, anger, shutdown, or negotiation
- Your child avoids, freezes, explodes, or disengages when anything feels like “demand”
- Homework, reading, writing, lessons, or transitions trigger conflict
- You want a way forward that protects relationship and restores learning capacity
- You’re tired of guessing what to do — and tired of feeling like the bad guy
- You suspect something deeper is happening than “behaviour”
Want support to change the pattern — properly?
If you want guidance, structure, and support to stabilise your family system and rebuild learning engagement (in the right setting for your child),
the full programme is where we do that work.
What parents are saying about Lights On
'Just absolutely transformative. In a week I’ve gone from stuck, overwhelmed and resentful to liberated, joyful and purposeful. Truly miraculous.' Kate
'I wouldn’t have got this far on my own. The community and coaching are a real fast-track to transformation. I have never experienced such a strong community.'
Rachel
Rachel
'Lights On has been life-changing. It helped me identify the ‘something more’ I’ve been searching for. My family is benefiting from me, taking action each day.'
Georgie
Georgie
'Lights On was the best thing I ever did. It has changed how I see the world and my role as a parent. I am confident I am heading in the right direction.'
Jo
Jo